Compassion and Respect for Women Who Choose Abortion

This title might cause you to wonder if I am "pro-choice".  I am not.  I am very much "pro-life".  Simply put, killing another person, no matter how young or old, no matter where they "live", and no matter how big or how little or how much they can defend themselves, does not solve a woman's problem.  I believe it compounds it.  For me, the only gray area is when staying pregnant truly threatens the mother's life. In this case, arguments can be made both ways.  For all others, there are options which will not cost the innocent baby its life, and which, with necessary emotional, physical, and spiritual support, will help the mother through her crisis of an unwanted pregnancy and help minimize or prevent added emotional and physical complications for her afterward.

We live in a country where women can decide to carry their babies until time for birth or to end the pregnancy by ending the life of their child.  For some women, this is a very difficult decision to make. For others, this is not a tough decision, regardless of which way they choose.   Most young women in the United States have grown up in a society where "choice" has been and is the mantra.  Many do not even believe that God exists, much less that He is the giver of life.  It is not surprising that many of these women will immediately think "abortion" when an unwanted pregnancy is suspected or confirmed.

I have had the recent pleasure of learning more about how one crisis pregnancy center in Hampton Roads works.  Had I simply listened to the mainstream media's portrayal of "pro-life" centers, I could have had the picture of "Bible thumping", self-righteous people telling women that they were going to lose their own souls if they had an abortion, tying them to a chair, and forcing them to watch a video where babies are ripped apart and suctioned from the womb. In reality, this is  not the case regarding how women are treated in this faith based crisis pregnancy center in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia.  In fact, it is far from it.

The center, which is part of a larger network of crisis pregnancy centers, is staffed by people, mostly women, who LOVE the women who come in with an unwanted baby in their wombs.   They understand that women, as are men, are made in image of God, and should be treated with respect because of this. Their babies are, too, and the efforts to support the mother in crisis flow down to the baby, too.  Staff members and volunteers RESPECT the legal, medical right of the women to make an INFORMED decision. Yet, they do not push the woman to even watch a video on abortion if she prefers not to.  They do not judge any of the women who come in for services. The staff simply listens to the woman, assesses what her needs might be, and provides education and caring support as she makes her decision.  If the ultrasound indicates a possible abnormality, they will refer the woman to her physician or to the emergency room, which ever is most appropriate.  They never advise abortion. They will let her know that if she decides on abortion, that she, based on the research evidence, will likely experience some emotional repercussions of the decision.  They let her know that they offer her loving counseling to help her with this common aftermath.  Many women have benefited from this type of support.  For those who choose to have, and then to keep their babies, the center offers free clothing and diapers for a period of time to help the often financially strapped mother.  They do not get involved in the adoption process, but will refer the mother to appropriate resources.

Some women come in just to have the free pregnancy test and ultrasound the center offers all women to confirm and to date their pregnancy before scheduling an abortion elsewhere.  Others look for advice and counsel. The woman is provided with as much information as she wants, with respect and care, and without being judged.

What I took away from my experience there is that these centers offer a "safe" space for women to learn about all their options, without someone trying to sell them anything.  There is no fee for the services and support offered.  These centers are supported by the donations of individuals and businesses which have the same philosophy of life and of respect for women. This is in stark contrast for the "educational" services offered by abortion clinics, including Planned Parenthood, where information may be slanted in favor of abortion because of ideology, and where the clinic reaps financial benefits from governmental and private income for the cost of the procedure and, -- most shockingly -- in some cases, the sale of intact pre-born babies, or their body parts.

So, if you are reading this blog -- and a few of you do  -- if you know of someone who is experiencing a crisis pregnancy, tell her about the faith based crisis pregnancy center in your area, and encourage her to go.  Offer to go with her if she wants the support.  Let her know that you care for and respect her to the point that  that you want her to have all the facts so she can make an informed decision. Just knowing she has other options -- including adoption options -- and how they might work for her might save the life of her baby, and prevent her from experiencing emotional, and perhaps physical, lasting trauma.  Finally, if you are as impressed as I was, look for opportunities to support this important work, whether it is by volunteering, participating in the annual "Walk for Life", or by contributing financially.  The rewards for doing so are eternal.  It is quite possible that in Heaven, someone might come to you and thank you for your part in giving them life, or to thank you for  your part in helping her choose life for her baby, or to thank you for helping her recover from the trauma of abortion and to learn about the love of Jesus Christ for her and for her little one.

A Few, and Happy, Updates

Since my last post about the parallels between birth and death, some changes have occurred in how the medical approach to childbirth has been handled.  (The midwifery approach has been on target all along.)  The American Society of Anesthesiologists have come out with new recommendations on oral intake during labor.  They are now stating that it is OK for a low risk mother and baby for the mother to consume clear liquids during labor.  Also, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) put out Committee Opinions stating that based on research (or lack thereof in some cases), that improves both safety and the physical and emotions experience of giving birth, and success when initiating breastfeeding.  

What is fairly obvious is that God's design for childbirth and breastfeeding work quite well.  Clearly all cases are not textbook perfect, for we are under the curse of the Fall.  But, many in the medical profession are beginning to see that trying to medically manage the beginning and course of labor for a low risk woman and her baby often introduces medical issues which, themselves, require treatment. We can be grateful that technology has advanced to the current level where many discovered or unexpected problems can be treated successfully, but trying to prevent possible problems with medical intervention does not seem to always be the best course of action.

Many, but not all, women in the US have options regarding how their birth is to be handled.  This includes medications and anesthetics used to control pain, induction for medical reasons, or, within established safety guidelines, for convenience, repeat C-sections when there is no medical indication for doing so, and more.  However, the pendulum is swinging in the direction of providing and protecting the woman's right to decides, bases on research evidence, how she wants her birth experience to be handled.  ACOG has even put out a committee opinion of how to work with patients who want to do something different that what the physician recommends.  I think the opinion shows respect for the woman's right to decide how and where she wants to give birth.

As a childbirth educator, as a nurse, and as the mother-in-law of two wonderful women who have had the blessing of many of the choices, I am grateful to see that birth, once again, is coming back under the dominion of women, who are the real experts at giving birth.