The Power of "No".

I recently was involved with putting together a conference entitled "Birth Really Matters:  Optimizing Maternal and Neonatal Outcomes".  We had a couple of physicians, half dozen midwives, several RNs, several doulas, several lactation consultants, and a few childbirth educators attend.  A certified nurse midwife from VCU Centering Pregnancy was a speaker.  She showed a video (link to be displayed at the end of this post) on the rights of childbearing women.

As a childbirth educator, I am often asked "Will they let me . .  .?".  To this I usually respond, "What you want to say it 'My plan is to  . .  .',  or, 'I will be doing . . . '.  Avoid asking if something is OK.  A nurse or physician could be having a bad day, and you can get a "no" when that should not be the case." 

At the conference, a midwife in the audience talked to us about the power of "no".  If a nurse says, "I need to take your baby to weigh and bathe it", you can say "No.  I want to hold my baby and let her breastfeed for a while longer.  I do not plan to for my baby to have a bath today."  If a physician says "You have to have IV fluids", you can say "No.  I will be taking in fluids orally.  I do not want to be connected to IV fluids".

So, what if you have signed all kinds of consent to treat forms?  "No" trumps these.  No matter what you have consented to allow to be done, or to do, at any time you can invoke the power of "No".  At this point, without a court order, no one can force you to do anything.

My advice?  Use your power wisely.  If necessary, ask questions, and use your BRAIN (benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, and "no" or "not now" if applicable).  Christian women have a great resource:  prayer.  Ask for wisdom in making your decision (James 1:5).

Do not be intimidated.  It is your body.  It is  your birth experience.  To the care provider, it is just another day at the office.  You will remember this experience -- and deal with any effects -- for the rest of your life.  And, most importantly, it is YOUR baby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K105F9o3HtU

http://childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10084&ClickedLink=0&area=27