My other "mother" activities have kicked up a notch lately. Last week was a busy week of classes. This week, I have been working on projects for my son and for my grandchildren. My son and his business partner are starting their own business refinishing the floors on indoor courts, like basketball courts. I helped them set up their web site and design their business cards, so, pretty soon, I can turn my attention back to MY project for a while -- although I really enjoyed the temporary side track.
Yesterday, I baby sat my three grandchildren while their parents finished the process for obtaining SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) support for the new church work in which they are involved. This is special for me because, until very recently, they lived anywhere from 3 hours (by car) to 21 hours (by plane) away. They now live only one hour from us.
The kids and I went to Chik-fil-A and they had the indoor play area all to themselves. They had a blast!
Now, watching kids isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it is a double chocolate milkshake when the kids are your grandkids. We ate our lunch, which included a LOT of waffle fries and lemonade, plus a little chicken. Grandmothers are supposed to spoil their grandies, right?
As I observed their interaction with strangers (the dining room lady, the people in the next booth as they left, etc.), I was thrilled to hear "please" and "thank you" and an occasional "yes m'am" by the three and five year olds. In the car, we had fun singing songs from "You've Got Mail." (Yep, there is evidently a soundtrack CD for this movie, but I was surprised to find it in the car CD player; I thought their parents would be into something more contemporary.) Next we were baking gluten free cherry and cashew cookies.
All these activities brought me pleasure. My daughter in law is an outstanding mother, and her loving efforts are very evident in these adorable children (of course, I invoke the grandmother privilege here!). Yes, their father does his part, but they are with their mother practically 24/7, and this has to be the reason for a lot of their behavioral training.
Although I had a wonderful day with my "grands" the thing which brought me the greatest joy was when their mother came home at the end of the day. . . and not because my job as babysitter was over for the time being. Her children were excited to see her -- and their dad (well, sort of).
Hugs and kisses abounded. And then, the twenty month old lovingly gazed and smiled at his mother and said in a certain way, "Ma-ma". In moments he was happily nursing and enjoying the companionship of the most important person in his little world. I could just see that young brain growing bigger from the milk he was receiving, while his heart was overflowing with love for his mama.
That evening, I pondered that precious site. I realized that my youngest child was also nursing at twenty months of age, and I could almost re-live the experience after having seen my happily breastfeeding grandson and his smiling and relaxed mother. Then, unexpectedly, a moment of sadness crossed my reflective time.
I had remembered that it was at twenty months I had to wean my youngest son because of a diagnosis of thyroid cancer -- a cancer which likely occurred, in part, because I was not breastfed (see earlier, August 4, 2013 post). Twenty months of breastfeeding my youngest was the longest I had nursed a baby, and that baby was my last baby
Yet, I am so very happy that my daughter in law, and many women like her, will be able to continue to nurse each child as long as they desire. The information we now have about the value of human milk and the act of breastfeeding on the neurological, immunological, developmental, and social health of our children provides strong support when they hear "Are you STILL breastfeeding that baby?". Now they can answer "Of course! Why not"" and then provide solid, research based rationale for their decision.
Thyroid cancer disrupted my breastfeeding relationship with my baby. But, God, who truly cares about how we feel during the trials He has designed for us, shows His love in ways most special. I was not allowed to breastfeed for about twelve weeks after being given the radiation therapy required for my type of cancer (it was something I swallowed. If I heard one "glowing green" joke, I heard hundred!).
At the time, no one told me about the option of using a hospital grade pump to keep my milk supply going. Breastfeeding was not that important to my care providers.
My baby, along with his older brothers, was actually separated from me for three weeks due to the radiation treatment. My radiated body was a danger to the growing thyroids of my three sons.
Upon the baby's return, I still could not breastfeed. When he wanted to nurse, I explained to him (one time only) that mommy's milk was still not good for him because of special medicine I had taken. He really seemed to understand.
By the way, I have come to believe that our pre-verbal children understand much more than we realize. When they point to something or are looking at something and say "da" or "da-da", I think they are saying, "Tell me everything you know about THAT". Try it. You will often find they give you their attention when you teach them about "da". I know, this is a real let down to fathers who think that every "da-da" means "Daddy"! But, reassure Dad that some of those "Das" do refer to him!
But, back to my story. Amazingly, nine weeks after he arrived home after staying with my mother for three weeks required separation, and twelve weeks post radiation therapy, my then twenty-three month old came to me and wanted "nummies". How did he know that the additional nine weeks had passed and that my milk (if I had had any) was now safe?
I knew I did not have milk, but I could not refuse his request. He latched on, and then looked at me as though he was thinking, "NOW what do I do?" He stayed at my breast, latched on but not suckling for about 5 minutes. During this time, my husband walked in the front door and saw the scene. He looked at me quizzically. I just shrugged my shoulders and we both remained quiet. Then, in a minute or so, my little one climbed off my lap and never asked to nurse again.
I really think that, because weaning occurred fairly abruptly (I had been given three weeks to taper down and tell him that mommy was sick and that we would have to stop nursing soon), that the Lord knew we both needed closure -- my son more so than I. This last "nursing" session was that closure for him. He had to know that mama would let him nurse. I think he had to know that he had not been rejected as the reason for weaning twelve weeks earlier.
This final nursing time is a precious memory for me. I can remember it as though I was still seated in that old, ugly, rust colored rocker chair (our decor at the time was early relative), in the corner of the living room, watching his little face as he relaxed and "nursed", and seeing my husband walk in to the room. Of the thousands of times I breastfed my children, this memory is the strongest.
Even though we had to wean sooner than we wanted, God has given me almost three decades of life beyond what which untreated cancer would have resulted. I have enjoyed watching all of my children grow up into fine young men, in two cases, husbands, and one case, a father. I have been blessed by the love of a man who loves God, and as a result, has loved me more than I deserve. I have learned to trust in the love of the One who created us all.
I am thankful that God's love does not depend on the degree or expression of our love for Him. This is a great truth, because there are times when we do not feel as much love toward God as we normally desire to. We can never love Him as much as He deserves to be loved while we are on this Earth -- we are simply too selfish in our fallen state. Still, He gives us precious times of sweet, loving communion with Him -- just a taste of the great love we will feel when we enter our eternal home with Him. We certainly do not always behave as though He is the most important love in our lives. Even so, He loves us in an infinite way -- and at all times. He has shown that love through Calvary. He also shows it in little ways -- like that final time of nursing to give a mother and her baby some closure. It is just Who He is. He loves.
Psalm 36:7 "How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men (including women and children) find refuge in the shadow of your wings."
Years ago, I watched a program on PBS entitled The Natural History of the Chicken. One story in this documentary put to rest the erroneous meaning of calling someone "chicken". The story was about a
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Isn't this a beautiful picture of what God has done for us? Psalm 91:4 tells us "He covers us with His feathers and under His wings we find refuge." How priceless is His unfailing love!
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